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Hand Turkey

  • Nov. 10th, 2009 at 7:36 AM
grr-floyd jumped on a scanner
After work yesterday I went to hang out with a couple of co-workers at a bar, and everyone in the bar was making Thanksgiving hand turkeys.  I wanted to make a hand tofurkey but someone already did that, so I made a stigmata hand turkey.  Crappy cell phone pic, but you get the idea...



Come see me at the Jailhouse of Horrors!

  • Oct. 21st, 2009 at 8:53 AM
grr-floyd jumped on a scanner
FINAL WEEK! Thursday-to-Thursday, Oct 22-29.
7-10pm week nights
4-10pm Sat/Sun

You have been wrongfully accused of murder. Now you must endure the horrors of the New Orleans criminal justice system in our first-ever "Jail House of Horrors," an interactive Halloween horror house.

Directed by Big Easy Award-nominated actor Frederick Mead, and co-produced with New Orleans event planner Clay Thomas, "Jail House of Horrors" is scary fun for the whole family.

A portion of all ticket sales benefit the New Orleans Healing Center, New Orleans Radical Faeries, and NOPD Benevolence Fund.

Jail House of Horrors
at the New Orleans Healing Center (formerly known as Universal Furniture)
2372 St Claude at St Roch.




I will be there Friday, Saturday, Monday and Tuesday from 7-10, and Sunday from 4-7. But even if I'm not there you will enjoy it!

Rants and opinions

  • Sep. 23rd, 2009 at 11:50 AM
grr-floyd jumped on a scanner
I've discovered that I have an increasingly limited tolerance for other people's angry rants. 

Now, as I'm sure all of you know, I have plenty of strong and unpopular opinions, and I can be passionate about those opinions.  I think it's totally understandable (and good!) that others have strong, passionate opinions as well.  But I've identified some behaviors that I really can't stand that sometimes go along with expressions of opinion.

1.  A hostile tone.  When someone speaks in a belligerent way, I get so uncomfortable that I have difficulty continuing the conversation.  Now, I know that the person is often just worked up about the issue, and not mad at me.  I know that in my head.  But I still experience it as an attack.  I get scared, my heart races, my throat feels like it's closing up.  I know that the other person isn't trying to do this to me, but it still happens.  I know a lot of this comes from my personal issues, but I'm willing to bet I'm not the only person who reacts this way.  The anxiety I feel in these situations makes me feel almost unable to speak, which often goes unnoticed by the other person anyway, which brings me to...

2. Not allowing me to speak.  I've found that a lot of people, when they get worked up about something, get so deep in their own heads that they completely stop listening.  They may even ask me a question, but if I try to answer I will rarely even get a full sentence out before they're going on and on again, reacting to what they think my answer was (which is often different than what I was actually trying to say, but they don't know that because they weren't listening). 

3. Implying that anyone who doesn't agree with them is ignorant/stupid/delusional.
  Sometimes, when you've read and studied and thought about something a lot, it can be hard to believe that anyone who has also read and studied and thought about that topic could disagree with you.  But, guess what?  It's possible.  My friends and family are intelligent, perceptive people.  Yet there are, among them, atheists and a Catholic nun, vegans and meat-eaters, peace activists and soldiers, Democrats and Republicans and Libertarians, etc.   I recently met someone who is very anti-religion.  His experiences with religious people have caused him to resent the whole idea.  Fine, I understand that.  But when he started to go on and on about how anyone who believes in God is an idiot, it pissed me off.  I have never practiced any religion, but many of the people I respect and admire are religious.  I recently saw a play that touched on the life of Jesus.  It strayed a lot from the actual biblical story, but still, I saw this play, and I got it.  The idea of a person (or a God in human form...whichever, really) having so much unconditional love for everyone was very moving.  I know that there's more to Christianity than that one concept, but that is a part of it that I can understand and connect to.

I love discussion, and the exchange of ideas.  But often communication completely shuts down when people do the things I've mentioned above.  I'm sure I've done those things too.  Sometimes when you feel strongly about something, you just want to be heard.   But I think that when you focus so much on being heard that you stop listening, it becomes pointless.   You can convince yourself that you're right about everything, and that most if not all other human beings are idiots, and then you can go live in a cave somewhere shaking a stick at anyone who approaches you...but is that any way to live?

Yes, that was an exaggeration ;)

What do all of you think?

Every now and then

  • Sep. 7th, 2009 at 3:59 AM
grr-floyd jumped on a scanner
...I leave my house and am reminded that I live in the most vibrant and wonderful place on Earth :)

I had such a lovely time tonight, reconnecting with friends I hadn't seen in a while.  I hope you all had fun too!

*deeeeeeeeeep cleansing breath*

  • Sep. 6th, 2009 at 8:25 PM
Zeo
I got up this morning, cooked breakfast, and finished the second revision of my novel.  Then I took a shower, got dressed, and went to a movie at Canal Place.  I got home and made pancakes, then relaxed on my bed for about three hours, finishing the non-fiction book I was reading and then working on the fiction one (I like to have one of each going at all times, so I can switch back and forth according to my mood). 

Masha was lounging beside me the whole time.  Suddenly, I realized that I hadn't seen Zeo since I left for the movies - 5 hours earlier.  I'm watching Zeo for Becca, who's at Burning Man.  Zeo does like to hide from Masha, because Masha's much more playful (and bigger than her), but she always comes out to eat fairly frequently. 

I began to search her past hiding places - under the bed, on top of the wardrobe, behind some boxes on the windowsill.  She wasn't there.  I searched everywhere I could think of, even the kitchen cupboards.  I took out the bag of treats and shook it and called her name (this always gets her running into the kitchen).  She didn't come. 

I called my mother.  She suggested places to look.  I'd already looked in all of those places - I have a very small one bedroom apartment.  We both reasoned that it was highly unlikely that Zeo could have gotten outdoors.  To get out my door, I have to unlock it with a key from the inside, then lock it again once outside.  I couldn't imagine Zeo slipping past me while I did that.  Still, I was panicked that she may have somehow escaped and gotten lost or hit by a car.  

Finally, feeling like a complete idiot, I decided to open my dresser drawers.  And there she was, on top of a pile of t-shirts.  She jumped out and immediately ran under the bed.  I was so relieved!  But I realized that she must have gotten in the drawer in the time it took me to put on a shirt, and I obviously didn't even notice her when I shut the drawer!  I can't believe she never meowed or scratched at the drawer - Masha would have made a racket.  I guess I'll have to make sure I keep an eye on her when I'm getting dressed from now on!  I felt so bad that I waited so long to search for her.

Mom and I laughed about it on the phone, and then Mom told me not to feel guilty, that I was a responsible and caring person, etc. etc.  I admitted that I do feel a bit silly that I'm 28 years old and still call my mother whenever I have a problem.  But then Mom said that she used to do the same thing, up until her mom got Alzheimer's.  And when Grandma got sick, that was the thing Mom missed the most...the ability to call her even when she didn't need advice, but simply wanted it.  She said that if Grandma had not gotten sick and died (over ten years ago), she would probably still be calling her when things went wrong.

It made me realize how grateful I am for the relationship I have with my mother.  Also I'm grateful that my sister's cat is doing OK!

Frankenlashes

  • Aug. 19th, 2009 at 3:30 PM
tongue
One of my co-workers does eyelash extensions, and she's putting together a portfolio.  She needed models, and she asked me to do it.  I already have a fair amount of relatively long eyelashes, but she wanted me to model because the fake ones attach to the real ones, so she could put a lot of them on me.

The whole process took almost 3 hours.  I was lying on a table with my eyelids taped into the proper position.  It sounds awful but it really wasn't bad.  Apparently most people fall asleep.  I was already tired from a late rehearsal last night, so I didn't mind the rest.  

She put about 75 fake lashes on each eye.  In the pictures under the cut, I'm not wearing mascara, but my natural eyelashes (which are normally blond) are tinted.  I do this on a regular basis, so I don't wear mascara anymore.

Frankenlashes )

Upcoming fun stuff, featuring ME

  • Aug. 14th, 2009 at 6:35 PM
salome
On this coming MONDAY, 8/17, my ten minute play, Pics, will have a seated reading at Southern Rep as part of their Playlab series.  It's at 7pm, free, and there will be other pieces read too.  The idea is for the writers to hear their work and get feedback. 

Then, on Sunday, 8/23, Playback is hosting a Red Tent event for women.  It's at Ashe Cultural Center and it is also free (and we'll have food there too).  We'll have two sessions in our very own Red Tent, each including storytelling circles and then a Playback performance.  The first session is at 1 and the second is at 3:30.  Again, this is a women-only event.

Men...feel free to come to my play reading on Monday ;)

Things that sound dirty

  • Aug. 10th, 2009 at 8:12 PM
panties
I get emails from this online massage supply store, Massage Warehouse.  The latest email said "Sheet sets only $5.99 with one gallon purchase of your favorite lubricant!"

I mean...come on...can't they call it (oil/lotion) something other than "lubricant?"

No, the joke will never die.

  • Jul. 15th, 2009 at 7:05 PM
panties
This is for a dear friend of mine who shall remain nameless but HE KNOWS WHO HE IS AND SEVERAL OTHERS DO TOO!

http://news.yahoo.com/s/ap/20090715/ap_on_fe_st/us_odd_stolen_panties

Man arrested with panties hanging from pants

ATHENS, Tenn. – A man has been charged with public intoxication after authorities said he was walking along Highway 11 with a pair of panties hanging out from his unzipped pants. According to The Daily Post-Athenian, 31-year-old man told deputies he had been at a pool party and stole them from a nearby home early Sunday.

A search revealed the man had stuffed some 40 pairs of female undergarments into his pants, although he had thrown most of them to the ground as a deputy approached.

The owner of the garments declined to prosecute but the man was arrested on a charge of public intoxication.



kitten
Meet Panther (he's the one on top):



On Saturday, my friend Bryce (who, as you may have guessed, is being perched upon by Panther in the above pic) came over to help me put the spare tire on my car after I had a flat.  So then I offered to buy him dinner, but he wanted to go home and take a shower first.  He lives on the West Bank.  Anyway, I'm sitting around waiting and waiting for Bryce to call and tell me he's on his way, getting hungry and eventually breaking down and snacking on some Tostitos. 

Finally, Bryce called.  He said, "You're not going to guess what I have in my car!"
"What?" I asked.
"A kitten!"  He said.  "I found him in the road, I almost hit him!"
At this point I was a tad worried that he was going to inform me that I was to take care of this kitten, since everyone knows I love cats.  However, my lease specifies that I'm only supposed to have one cat...it is very mean to make your cat loving friend say no to a TINY KITTEN who was IN THE ROAD!
Thankfully, Bryce didn't say that.  Instead he said, "I think I'm going to keep him.  I'm calling him Panther."

Apparently, Bryce saw Panther in the road and swerved out of the way, pulling his car over.  Then another car didn't see Panther (or Bryce's frantic arm waving) and drove RIGHT OVER Panther, with Panther between the wheels of the car!  When a third car approached, Bryce went out into the road and halted the car, picking up Panther, who immediately clung to his shirt and looked up helplessly into his eyes...and the rest is history :)

Bryce has never had a cat, and didn't know what to do with Panther, so he asked if he could bring him over and enlist my help in getting him comfortable.  At this point, Bryce was attempting to drive while Panther clung to his shirt, so my first advice was that he go back to his apartment and put Panther in a box with a towel in it.  He did.

When they arrived at my place (I went out to the car, wasn't going to let Masha near Panther) and I peeked in the box, I was very surprised to see just how tiny Panther was!  We got Masha when she was 6 or 7 weeks old, and Panther was way smaller.  I didn't even know what we should feed him!  He looked up at me, with his big blue eyes, mewing his little head off. 

At this point, it was 9:30 at night, so PetCo was closed.  I called the Metairie Small Animal Hospital and they said we needed to feed him formula.  They said if we brought him in, they'd give us enough for the night.

Panther and Bryce had already bonded quite a bit.  At the vet's office, Bryce asked me to take Panther so he could go to the bathroom.  Panther clung to Bryce's shirt like a little burr with his tiny claws.  I would get one claw free and then he would just grab Bryce with another claw.  It was really funny. 

Bryce was hilarious, saying, in complete earnest, that he felt his life had completely changed now.  He planned to line up his friend who lives in his apartment complex as a cat-sitter in the future, and started asking me when Panther would need his shots, etc. 

The vet tech gave us a few syringes of formula, and we brought Panther back to Bryce's place to feed him. 

MOAR kitten pics! )




T.V.

  • Jun. 8th, 2009 at 6:17 PM
Masha love
Netflix started sending me annoyed emails because my debit card had expired.  Then I realized I hadn't watched a Netflix movie in a couple of months (since I started working on my novel), so I cancelled.  I don't have cable or a converter box or anything, so I haven't even turned on my TV set in a long time.  It does serve a purpose, though.  It gets Masha closer to the A/C!





By the way, The Dealership Formerly Known As Saturn of Metairie didn't bother to call me back before they closed, so I have no clue if anyone even looked at my car today.  

oops.

  • Mar. 2nd, 2009 at 7:37 AM
grr-floyd jumped on a scanner
Last night while setting my alarm clock, I must have accidentally set the actual time on the clock an hour ahead.  I woke up feeling really groggy, having a hard time getting out of bed.  I finally did, and got completely ready for work, and it wasn't until I was pouring some coffee into a travel mug on my way out the door that I noticed on my microwave that it was an hour earlier than I thought it was.  Confirmed it on my cell phone and computer.  Gah!  I could have slept more!  Oh well, at least I know I'll get to work on time.

for the sporty ladies

  • Feb. 20th, 2009 at 8:11 PM
strong woman

In case you haven't heard of it, Title Nine is an awesome source for athletic/yoga clothes and other stuff.  They specialize in sports bras, even for really busty girls (which I'm not, but some of you are).  Just wanted to pass that along.  I also like that they give details about and quotes from the women who model for their catalog, who are not professional models.  I think that's pretty feminist and cool.  I just ordered some new stuff to wear to all these Spinning classes I'm attending these days.  I've been good about being frugal lately, so I might even let myself get some real cycling shoes (which, sadly, T9 does not sell).

Masha love
Now that I live 3 blocks from Whole Foods, I do all of my grocery shopping there.  Yes, it's expensive, but I'm pretty good at finding bargains (two boxes of Quorn nuggets for $7!).  However, when I got home from Whole Foods the other day, and was unpacking my reusable grocery bag, I just had to laugh at myself.  I think I bought the most uber-hippie food ever: Ginger Hemp Granola.  I mean, come on...Ginger. Hemp. Granola.  It's kind of ridiculous.

It actually tastes really good, though.

Seeya!

  • Dec. 23rd, 2008 at 6:39 PM
rudolph
I'm off to Jamaica in a few hours.  Happy holidays, everyone! 

Yes, it snowed in New Orleans today!

  • Dec. 11th, 2008 at 9:01 PM
Masha love
Meet the Belladonna snowman:



He was made by my co-worker Rob.  Note that his scarf is a Belladonna ribbon, and his bag is a Belladonna jewelry bag.

P.S. Also note new icon!

Love and cats

  • Dec. 10th, 2008 at 10:22 PM
snuggly kitties
I was reading in a book about the concept of unconditional love while taking a bath just now.  Masha jumped up on the edge of the tub, and I realized that I probably have unconditional love for my cat.  I can't picture Masha doing anything that would make me stop loving her.  Then again, how evil can a cat really be?  Then I realized with amusement that this object of my unconditional love, my dear cat Masha, certainly does not love me unconditionally.  In fact, I have always doubted the ability of cats to truly "love" by the human definition of the word.

This doubt was based on how closely Masha's "love" for me depended on circumstance, and necessity.  When it's cold, she wants to snuggle more.  When she's hungry, she rubs against me and purrs to get my attention.  When I moved into the new apartment with her, and she didn't have another cat (Zeo) or another person (Becca) anymore, she suddenly got much more affectionate with me.  I assumed this was because I was now her only possible source for attention and food.

But then I realized...is this necessity based love something we humans are really above?  Babies literally need love, or they die.  If no one cares enough to attend to their needs, which they are completely incapable of taking care of on their own, they can't survive.  But are adult humans really that different?  Can a person truly live without receiving ANY love?  Don't we look to our romantic partners to fulfill our various needs?  And when, say, we get dumped, it can feel as though we won't be able to live.  We like to think we love other people for their unique and special qualities, but there are deeper forces involved as well. 

Harville Hendrix, the author of some relationship books I've read, says that our subconscious mind confuses our romantic partner with our parents (or other early caregivers).   We therefore believe, on a subconscious level, that if they don't love us in the way we feel we need to be loved, we will die.

Is a cat's love, then, really so different from a human's?  What do you think?

My life just got awesomer.

  • Dec. 9th, 2008 at 11:02 PM
sun-basking hair-tossing pale chick
What's the awesomest Caribbean destination of the following?
Jamaica, Puerto Rico, Nassau, Grand Cayman...or elsewhere?
Aruba is "too far" in the opinion of the person who is paying for the trip.  We're trying to get a reasonably short flight.

I've never been anywhere in the Caribbean so any input is welcome!

THIS IS THE BEST CHRISTMAS PRESENT EVER!

This morning.

  • Dec. 9th, 2008 at 12:53 PM
kitten
I like to hit the snooze button a few times before I get up.  I've gotten to the point where I can do this without opening my eyes.  I know how far I have to reach to hit the clock on my bedside table.

Unfortunately this morning I reached over in the wrong direction, and poked a sleeping Masha in the belly.  I opened my eyes because something felt wrong, and the beeping hadn't stopped.  My eyes met the glare of a very annoyed cat.

Oops.

Really random question

  • Nov. 17th, 2008 at 7:47 PM
Indigo Girls
Does anyone know if John Lennon's song #9 dream has ever been covered by a female vocalist?

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